10 good things about 2004:
(Not in any order)

1) I turned 16. Which means nc-16 movies.

2) I met the other half.

3) I became closer to Ashrithaa, Claire, Hakim, Nas, Nalisa and Shikin. People who have helped me through the toughest of times and with whom ive shared my happiness with. And Dayak, who crapped with me and made me laugh till my sides cracked.

4) I got rid of the bad company that i had in Sec 3. No more bad company = improve in studies/character-wise.

5) I became closer to my mother, of whom ive been neglecting for the whole of last year.

6) Puteri Gunung Ledang! (haha)

7) I became a listening ear to many. Which means, ive helped quite a number of people.

8) I managed to scrape into JJC and i am thankful, cuz i missed out alot during my Sec 3 years.

9) I've improved in looks too. (waha) Just look at the archives and you'll see what i mean.

10) I learnt the meaning of loving unconditionally.

10 bad things about 2004:
(Not in any order)

1) I turn 16. Which means freaking O Levels.

2) I lost the other half. hehehehehe.

3) I drifted apart from my 'best'friend, Atikah. As well as Shafiah and Liyana.

4) I am no longer as close to my bestestest cousin, Annisa.

5) Scoring 17 (with bonus points) for Prelims. Like oh my gawd what a loser.

6) Not ending it with my two best friends (who have cancelled Orgy night).

7) Ending the year, instead, with a horrible Tsunami, a broken heart and silence. (Shitheads, not even Taufik Batisah to soothe this tension!!! Oh gosh.)

8) Forgetting how to play the guitar; my ultimate tension/emo remover.

9) O levels.

10) Ive been disappointed again.

In conclusion,
2004 was a great year, but it ended off badly. haha.

Him: Are you ok?
Fad: What do you think?

I am thinking of renting lots of movies to make time go by faster, but realised that i have not once cent left. Bleargh. Should borrow some from Claire later in the day. DvDs i mean. Not money.

I am trying my best to put on happy faces. It tricks everyone but myself.

Ya Allah.

Berikanlahku pertolongan untuk mengharungi cabaran-cabaran yang ku hadapi.
Ringankanlah beban mereka yang terkorban di Tsunami dan mereka yang menghadapi kesusahan akibatnya.
Berikanlahku kekuatan untuk memeluki tahun 2005 yang mendatang.

Ya Allah.

Ampunilah dosaku, dan keluargaku, dah sahabat-handaiku.
Terangkan dan bukalah hati kami dengan iman, dengan restuMu.
Jauhkan diri kami dari Nafsu dan Syaitan.
Jadikanlah kami orang dari golongan yang beriman, yang akan bersamaMu di akhirat kelak.

Amin, yaRabbalA'lamin.

I have forgiven all those who have wronged towards me in the past, and i hope, to all those whom i've wronged, please find a space in your heart to forgive me. May the new year bring lots of joy, less sorrow and a whole new beginning.

I have decided to stop publishing the death tolls. There's just too much. Each time i look at it, i get depressed. Please donate all the stuff you don't use anymore to the RedCross, MercyRelief, or hand it over to the mosques. Do your part instead of sitting around saying "ooh this is so sad", but not doing anything.

The victims will appreciate your sympathy, but what they need, really, is your donations.

Have a happy new year.

I know you're reading this. I dont regret all that we've done. I dont regret sharing my life with you. I dont regret sharing our ups and downs together. I dont regret the late night talks about life in general. Perhaps things happen for a reason. I'll be waiting.

To those who understand, keep it at that. To those who dont, you probably dont need to.

Thanks Claire. Thanks Ashrithaa. Thanks Hakim. Thanks Nalisa. Thanks Shikin.

Like why the hell isnt Channel 5 broadcasting the countdown? I need Taufik Batisah! Argh. Can someone please explain to me why?

Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me? Will i shake this off pretend its all okay?

[[ Boxcar Racer - There is ]]
this vacation's useless
these white pills aren't kind
i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
the days have come and gone
our lives when but so fast
i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more

[chorus]
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off pretend its all okay
that there someone out there who feels just like me
there is

those notes you wrote me
i've kept them all
i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
with every single letter in every single word there
will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl

[chorus x3]

Daddy: Fad! Fad! Come here!
Me: What? (Hesistant to enter that smoke-filled balcony)
Daddy: COME LAH!
Me: Ok fine~

And to which i was greeted with a Jurong West sky filled with dancing white lights, moving about in a fixed pattern. I was kinda amazed, and stood there next to my dad (who, was still puffing away) whilst the rest of the family joined us.

Our conclusions:
Dad: Some NS thing lah.
Mom: Yah.. NS.. You guys make such a fuss i thought got some weather problem. (she's paranoid after the tsunami incident)
Me: Aliens. I really thought they were spaceships seh. hahaha!
Fau: NS.. practice for National day.
Far: Dono..



Current death toll:
Bangladesh: 2
East Africa: 133
India: 12,419
Indonesia: 35,502
Malaysia: 64
Maldives: 55
Myanmar: 36
Sri Lanka: 22,493
Thailand: 1,538
Total: 69,242

Current death toll: (from channel news asia)
(All figures are preliminary)
Bangladesh: 2
East Africa: 133
India: 12,419
Indonesia: 35,502
Malaysia: 64
Maldives: 55
Myanmar: 36
Sri Lanka: 21,715
Thailand: 1,538
Total: 68,464

This is getting seriously depressing. I thought they estimated the amount of deaths to be 55 000. Now its reaching 70 000. Innalillah.

I cried in the mrt reading about this mom who loss hold of her daughter in the water. The mom survived, the daughter died.

I cried watching the news. Watching the bodies, all black and blue, bloated stomachs, and expression of horror on their faces, their bodies frozen in weird positions. It is, a horibble way to die. I pray to God i won't die in that manner. Insyallah.

The other half's friend, Shafin, is in Maldives. I pray for his safety.

Lame rantings of an aunt: "Astarfirullah! So many dead! Now Malaikat Munkar and Nakir cannot ask questions one by one, they have to ask in a whole class. Lets hope all these people have been good, so easy clearance. If not the Malaikats have to overtime! ahahhahahahaha!"

Oh God. the entire family is as lame as me. Anyway pardon if she sounds mocking or whatsoever, we were all so depressed and quiet watching the news, so perhaps she was trying to lighten the situation.

Taman Warisan was a huge letdown.

After the big hoohaa (created by yours truly), it is thouroghly disappointing. Now what i've expected it to be.

In my opinion, there were not enough materials to actually speak for the Malay history. The descriptions were brief, and there was not really much to get hyped about, as i've seen some (most) of the exhibits in Malaysian museums.

And i do not know for what reason, they actually cordoned off the "kampung" and "sixties house" exhibits. I was irritated lah, as in the kampung house, i saw alot of pictures and interesting articles.

Maybe the filming that was going on should be blamed. Buggers.

My family went in, and got out, in less den half an hr. Practically conquered the whole museum, as it was empty when we got in (exemption of the filming crew which entered when we were in the midst of leaving).

We combed the area, only finding the batik guy drawing batik. I was amazed at his professionalism and speed. It was like wooh! haha. I attempted drawing a batik once, but the result was a mishmash of read and black unidentified blots. haha!

To our dismay, the pottery workshop was closed. So we only managed to peek in and gawk at the materials on display.

I am making a call to all those who have "ancient" malay artefacts at home! Please please donate your stuff to the museum. Pretty pretty please. There's not even a gambus there. Boohoohoo.

Ok to balance of this rather sad and depressing entry, mom bought me a new blouse from New Line. 39 bucks! woohoo! One more striped blouse to add to my stripey wardrobe. (the clothes in it are stripey, not the wardrobe itself). heh.

Yay yay baju baru!

I had loads of things to blog about but now i've lost my mood.

Again and again, this tagger "Fart" implied countless times on Acik's blog that i'm seeking publicity for my blog. You know what.

I hate it.

I don't understand how i've wronged towards that person. I just don't get it.

I don't understand how im publicising my blog when i dont even put my addie and stuff. Gets on my nerve. Perhaps i should use a nickname when i tag?

Just like "Fart". A person cant be named Fart right? oops im making a deduction here. I apologise. I afterall, can't read minds.

Oh and to avoid any further "tagging drama", i'd like to request any bloggers who has my link, but doesnt read my blog, to delete the link. Thanks.

And "Fart" if you're reading this, add me on msn. skategurl_88@hotmail.com [[im not a skater, and i dun intend to seek attention by using this email. ]] I need to discuss your intentions by making those comments. Thanks.

Somehow the news (surprisingly) managed to pull me away from the computer. I sat in front of the TV for a whole 2 hours, watching channel news asia on the current epidemic that has the whole world on its toes.

Thousands dead or injured, millions homeless, billions mourning.

The current death toll:
India: 6,597
Indonesia: 4,725
Malaysia: 51
Myanmar: 30
Sri Lanka: 10,897
Thailand: 866
Maldives: 43
Bangladesh: 2
Total: 23,211

I noticed that most of these areas were already having unrest in their countries. Like Sri Lanka, ever with the Tamil Tiger issue. Thailand and Malaysia at odds with one another. Etc. Perhaps its an omen. Or perhaps this tragedy will unite these countries at last.

An image is still stuck vividly in my mind.

An image of a mosque standing strong without a sign of damage surrounded by fallen houses and buildings. It was as if the whole surroundings of the mosque has been flatten to allow better view of the mosque.

Subhanallah.

I have absolutely nothing to blog about today. Just went to the library and stuff. Therefore, ive decided to give a free advertisement to a picblog of my cousin, Abang Azhari.


Lalala. He's one of my more handsome cousins lah.


But can be fugly when he wants to.


I like this one. Can be used to make raya cars "Eid Mubarak!". hahaha!


Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeesha. hurhurhur.


Clickety clickety click.


Lelong lelong di sungei road.


Xiuli! This is Astrocenter!


Ssh. Granpa sleeping.


Ok lah one more of his selfpotraits that i like.

On another note, i am very depressed about the tsunamis and earthquakes that happened this past few days. I don't think any natural disasters around this region has been this horrible. I fear for the tall buildings in singapore.

Sigh. May the New Year bring about a better future. Insyallah.

[[ This is a public announcement service ]]
There is a short-film documentry about transgenders, and there are 3 shows in total. The programme is held at substation, 4th of January 2005, and starts at 8pm. Admission is free of charge. Please give support and come down aite! i am coming down! so if ure in love with me, you can come too just to meet me. huaagrhaha. gila.

Its 2:37am, and somehow i just can't close these eyes of mine. My bladder's full to the brim, but i dread walking 5 metres to the kitchen toilet. I remember granny saying

"If you need to pee, pee. later got stones den u noe..."

teehee. thanks nenek. ive seen my aunt's stones which were removed from her insides. eew. gross i tell you. its like having sharp meteors in your body which will continue poking you from your insides mercilessly until holes appear in your body and blood will pour out from these holes.

ok that was a tad exagerrated, but you get what i mean. I've succeeded in scaring myself, and therefore, i shall pee right now.

*zips up*

I had a screaming fit in the toilet just now, as a houselizard managed to scare the daylights out of me. I was happily peeing into the bowl, when suddenly in front of me this huge brown yucky thing appeared on the wall 20cm in front of me. I screamed like nuts, awaking my parents.

3 seconds later, i calmed down, the lizard disappeared and my parents were frantically banging on the bathroom floor.

"Fad!! Are you ok?"

They almost killed me when i said it was nothing but a lizard. huaarghahaha. Notti faddy. Its 3:01 am, and my eyes are a tad heavy.

If you haven't realised, this entry was typed merely to pass the time. Im freaking bored. And i realised that i scare people with my insane possesiveness. tsk.

The above is a short-film documentry about transgenders, and there are 3 shows in total. The programme is held at substation, 4th of January 2005, and starts at 8pm. Admission is free of charge. Please give support and come down aite! i am coming down! so if ure in love with me, you can come too just to meet me. huaagrhaha. gila.

Mom: Nuuuuurr!! (thats me btw) Wake up! Maghrib prayers!
Fad: Uhmm.. aah.. Uhhm.. *rolls over* *snores*
Mom: Quick lah! Want to go Queensway to shop!
Fad: *zip zip zip* Yes Mdm!

Haha. Thats usually my reaction towards praying and shopping. Two extremes. For the former i will postpone and postpone until the last 15 mins, and for the latter, i'd be all set in the same amount of time. Tsk2. Notti Faddy.

So as mentioned above, my family had our weekend outing, a weekly Sunday routine for the past few weeks. We ended up at Queensway as the little brothers needed to buy new school shoes, and Fauzi needed to get new trucks for his board.

The guys at the skateshop were nice people, and quite decent, unlike those at Sponge. No tattoos or piercings in sight. I hope *if* my brother gets into this kinda skate thingy, he remains clean and remembers his roots as a Malay, and a Muslim. Insyallah.

Mom offered to get me shoes, but i didnt know whether JJC allowed colored shoes, therefor i politely declined her offer. teehee. im such a good daughter.

After the Queensway trip, where, i also declined offers of a pair of Jeans, (hurhurhur) we headed to the 24 hrs Muslim Cheese Prata shop at pasir panjang.

Again i had my eating spree, wolfing down a Seafood Cheese prata (which, had only 2 tiny prawns and 3 tiny sotongs), a cheese prata, a plain prata, a Milo Dinosaur, and tasted my brother's Maggi soup, daddy's Nasi goreng ayam and mommy's prata tissue. alalaala. My tummy's bulging out.

I love family days like these, where i get the chance to talk to my Dad. I don't converse with him much, but i do treasure the times i do. And then there's the good-hearted jokes towards each other, the smiles, the kidding around. *smiles*

*burp* Alhamdulillah...

Yes, i admit i'm full of self love. I don't care what you all say, but i say i look nice up there.

In the words of KinkyKin (who, was very nice to me this morning. Thanks kin),

"You look very Waheeda."

hahahahha! That girl can be so entertaining at times. Comparing me and Waheeda (that Malaysian singer cum actress) is like comparing a flower and its thorn. heh. Funny lah you kinky.

I have been bloghopping the whole day, due to my depressed state (which is now gone). One thing i realised, is that quite a number of Malay/Muslim writers keep on stressing on the joys of the festive occasion.

No no. Not the past Hari Raya Puasa, nor the upcoming Hari Raya Haji, but in fact, the present Christmas (Hari Natal). The presents, the carols, the wishes.

Not that theres anything wrong... Just disturbing cuz it seems as if they embrace it more openly then they embrace their own festive occasions.

[[ Dear Claire (or all other christians), this is not a public outcry against christmas. heh. and to all of you Christians or Catholics (if catholics celebrate christmas, that is, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Hohoho! ]]

[[ Warning. this entry is what you may call mushy, and some people might not be able to take it. you've been warned ]]

After putting on a brave face in front of my family the entire day, heaving my emotions onto Nas and Lis, and burning scented candles in my room to calm myself down whilst i awaited the verdict,

The other half has forgiven me. Words can't describe how happy i am, how overjoyed and thankful that i still have him in my life. Someone to guide my way to success, someone who would keep my bad past from haunting me, someone who would assist me in these troubled teenage years.

I love you.

This song is dedicated to you, Is. I am sincerely sorry for all that i've done. And thank you, for staying by my side. If not for you, i'd still be stuck with studs, with black clothes, with bad company and all that comes with it.

[[ Hoobastank - The Reason ]]

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go (exemption)
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go (exemption)
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you...

The two irritating brothers i back. Oh God how i wish they're gone again. hahah.

I was sitting in front of the comp, when the silence that rang in the air was broken by the word "KAK!!" I ignored it.

Then it came again, "KAK FAD!". It registered in me, that my name is Kak Fad, so i looked out the window, only to be greeted by two grinning faces back from Johor. Once they stepped into the house, my comp and tv which was faithful to me for the past 4 days was ripped out of my hands.

Oh the pain. The pain.

I woke up quite early today, go figure out why. After spending a couple of hours in bed, i decided to go online, and somehow started chatting with Nas for 2 hours. And to think we chatted like nuts yesterday on MSN and on the phone. Sorry Nas i had to pour out my emotions on someone. heh.

Things are not yet better, somehow, time seems to be standing still.

Oh the pain. The pain.

I woke up in the morning of Christmas having a big fight with the other half, over my insane jealousy, paranoia and possesiveness.

Things settled in an hour, but anything may happen in the near future. We may have to break up if my characteristics don't change soon enough.

The above was written in monotone, because

I just don't know what's the right thing to feel anymore.

"The girl you see above, has a gone-case of balding, speech-malfunctioning, insecurity, paranoia, possesiveness, and frizzy hair. I think she will really need the donations for her PMII fund (which stands for 7600 fund). So please, in the spirit of Christmas and also out of the goodwill in your heart, dial the number above."

So sad right?! I got this in my email, and have already donated $10. Thats the only amount i could afford at this time. So please please help her.

I went to watch KungFu Hustle with the Pig and Bandfreak this afternoon. Oh gawd the show is super duper fuper funny! The whole cinema was practically laughing our heads off. I give it 4 1/2 stars!

The other half has another girl adding him on MSN. grrrrr. hahaha. Why don't guys add me on MSN. Humph!

Have gotten news that after i left, (i have to be home before Maghrib) Pig and Bandfreak walked from Orchard to HarbourFront while wearing reindeer hairbands, which had the horns sticking out. Oh God. I am suddenly so thankful that i left first. haha!

And a Merry Christmas to all! Especially Pig who made me a cup with the word Alien, but ended up smudging the words.

What do you expect from her?

Igmore that tag i made 10 mins ago.

I've actually typed out a very long distresscall entry, but the f*d up firewall prevented me from publishing it, and then the comp went crash.

I decided, that i have nothing to lose, so i deleted the bloody ZoneAlarm Pro. Yesh, i admit it is my fault for not knowing how to configure the stupid thing properly, but isnt it more convinient to blame it on something else?

hahahaha.

Now i'm left with just Windows Firewall. I hope it would do its job properly until i call my uncle over for reservicing. Oh God please prevent any worms, bugs, or any trojans from invading my comp. Please. Please.

Sigh.

Lookie lookie what i got from Astrocenter!!

Yeah, i know we're not supposed to believe in horoscopes and what not, but... what a coincidence. *shrugs*

Name : Fadhilah.
Sun sign : Leo.
Todays date: December 23, 2004.

Jealousy or possessiveness could become a problem in your closest relationship as December begins. This is not an unusual problem for Leo. You prefer to be the undisputed master in your domain, and you will fiercely protect what belongs to you.

That may have worked well for kings and feudal knights of yore, but it is not always a helpful energy to bring to a contemporary relationship. The other risk is suspicion; when you do not trust your partner, your relationship is in jeopardy.

This may be an ongoing issue until the New Moon occurs in Sagittarius on November 11. At that time, it is possible that you could actually separate. And then it may be difficult to recover the ground that you have lost with family members, who may be frustratingly eager to say, "I told you so."

Play it low-key, as the relationship may not actually be over. Between December 16, when Venus enters Sagittarius and your romance sector, and December 20, when Mercury turns direct there, it is very possible that an important reconciliation can occur.

The Full Moon occurs in Cancer, in your secret sector, on December 26. It is possible that your family will be left in the dark. Pleasures and celebrations are featured as the old year draws to a close.

Romance is likely to be pleasurable and exciting. You could be making plans for the future. Be a little bit careful about impulsive behavior on New Year's Eve. Accidents are a risk.

[end]

ok i shant believe in horoscopes!

the devil in me : "But Faddy, coincidence? I think not!"

Me: ******. Shut up.

I miss not having my younger brothers around. The whole house is so darn quiet. Too quiet. I guess i just can't be pleased ey?

Me: ARGH! FAUZI AND FARHAN ARE SO IRRITATING.

But now that they're gone, i want them back. Boohoohoo. Even if it meant having to fight over the computer, the tv, food.. Who am i kidding? I can't list down all the things we fight about. hah!

The other half too has been captured by the enticing Johore. The house is already so quiet with the absence of two annoying souls, and added to the absence of an ever-ringing handphone, my ears are dying to hear some noise.

I've been loitering around the house in a zombified manner, having absolutely nothing to do.

Bleargh.

I miss school and am soo looking forward to going to JJC, even if it means having to confront new people, who would judge me by my kerek (stuck-up) face. Pfft! They sure don't know how warm i am inside. hahahhaa!

NEWS UPDATE!

Faddy dreamt of Chucky (the Evil Doll) wearing a Nokia 9500 as his watch, and when he was trying to kill me, he destroyed a handphone shop in the process.

Pfft.

I think someone is influencing me too much. hahahhahaaaha.

3rd entry for today. I apologise. Anyway, would just like to copy and paste sumthing i took from Aziz's blog. His blog is not the typical blog (like mine) which rants on and on about our daily lives, but instead more of his thoughts and opinions.

[Begin]

Jealousy. Popping its green eye for everyone to see.

It's a dark green monster that hides under the bed of our thoughts. Occasionally, it pops up to say a hello and cause a little chaos, sending our lives spiralling into a whirling tornado of love and hate.

The ironic thing about jealousy, is that it couldn't exist unless one had a tremendous love for something. You could say it's the dark side of love. It's when one becomes selfish, when one is unwilling to share one's prized posession with anyone else, when the sufferer decides that nobody else shall have his prized object.
Be it a person, or an item.

Ironic is it not? Such a dark ugly emotion could be a direct spawn of love. Heh. Whoever said love was a beautiful thing, had never seen jealousy at work. We all get jealous every once in awhile.

Sometimes it comes out a little mischievious imp playing its cards and poking at your nerves. Others, it's a raging inferno of hatred that burns brighter than the sun, and burn it does, from inside out, leaving us an empty shell and as it continues outwards like wildfire, it may end up burning our loved ones too.

So is there a way to control this feeling? Or if possible, exterminate it entirely from our system? Perhaps there is but the question now is, should we rid ourselves of this seemingly ugly emotion? Or perhaps there is a reason why it's been planted into us so deeply, a feeling firmly rooted within us.

Jealousy is a form of defensive wall, built up around ourselves and our treasures. A greediness that overcomes us as we attempt to keep the connection between us and our loved posessions close, to preserve the bonds and ties between us.

In a matter of speaking, it's a good thing, that is of course, if we could control it.

Jealousy, is like a double edged knife; it cuts both ways but in the hands of an efficient cook, it could whip up the loveliest of dishes and carve wonderful works of art.

So when the little green imp pops into your head, be careful, keep your cool. Don't lose control. Treat it like you would an innocent child.

Sometimes it wants the most practical of things but you would have to be the one to think of the consequences of your actions upon following it as well as the good and bad of what you're about to do.

Jealousy is such an amazing feeling; it can be a powerful agent for revitalising love or a poison that could swiftly end it.

So my friends, if you meet the not so jolly green giant...

Think.....

[End]

Thanks Ziz. Owe you one.

I think i look nice here. hahahhahahahaha. self love.

I woke up at 9am, after getting a wake up call from the other half. Then i closed my eyes again, and slept peacefully amidst bangings on the door from my mum trying to wake me up.

Success eventually came to her at 11am, when she banged the door ultra hard, leaving me in my state of 20-second-blindness.

When i opened the door sleepily, she woke me up thoroughly by giving me a slap across the face, and shouting words which i have to censor here.

Okay thats a lie. My mother will never lay a hand on me. hehe.

So yeah, i woke up, opened the door, and was entrusted with a list of housework to complete before 2pm.



(Pardon me for the 'crumpleness' of the paper. Upon completing the chores, i scrunched the paper and did a victory dance across the hallway)

Translated, this is what it said:

- Clean (Vacuum, mop and clear the clutter) in the computer room, dining room as well as your room.
- Take the dry clothes and fold them.
- Hang the wet clothes from the washing machine.
- Cook rice.
(and the usual stuff which, refers to)
- Wash the dishes.
- Make your own breakfast.
- Keep the dry dishes.

Im proud to say that i have completed the items on time. And i even had time to watch BeyBlade, Spiderman and Davis Travis Facelift (which is, a very good show btw. Ch5, 12pm to 1pm).

Hmm. Ive decided to relive yesterday, as i am in a slightly better mood right now.

MONDAY. 21st DECEMBER 04.

The mother and brothers headed off to Johore Bahru at around 1030am to visit the arrival of my new niece, Insyriah (sumthin sumthin). her name too exotic and long for me to remember properly. hah.

So once they went off, i proceeded to change to go out. Went to Esplenade's library as usual,too get new plays. But didnt find any that attracted me, so i borrowed KISS's biography DVD as well as some war stories.

Whilst going down the escalator, guess who i saw?


AARON AZIZ!

Plus a goatee, a "mohawkish" hairdo and wearing black. like oh ma gawwwd.

But what spoiled the whole scenario was


His wife.

As well as his baby (named Danish Anaqi) and me standing with eyes wide open and mouth hanging like some lunatic. I swear i just stood there dumbly. Aaron stared at me as if im some weirdo and his wife had that HAH-HIS-MINE look.

And the baby was sleeping, nonchalant to the drama unfolding. What as embarassment.

And behind them was Sheikh Haikel and his baby. Anabelle Francis was nowhere to be seen. Anyway, DAMNIT. My only chance of getting Aaron to leave his wife for me has burnt in ashes.

Ok i dun wanna be a wife stealer, so make that, get a second wife. hehehe.

BACK TO THE PRESENT.

So yeah its 2:21pm right now. I have not bathed and i smell weird. Was suppose to go K-Boxing with Pig and Rhino, but as usual i backed out due to financial strains. Apologies guys.

And last but not least,

xxHappy 6th Monthsary to usxx

Ketika tunas ini tumbuh
serupa tubuh yang mengakar
satu nafas terhembus adalah
kata, angan, debur, dan emosi tercampur
dalam jubah terpautan
Tangan kita terikat..
Bibir kita menyatu..

Maka setiap apa yang terucap,
adalah sabda pendita ratu,
Di luar itu pasir..
Di luar itu debu..

Hanya pasir meniup saja lalu hilang,
Terbang tak ada,
Tapi kita tetap menari
Tarian cuma kita yang tahu.

Jiwa ini adalah tandu..
Duduk saja..
Maka akan kita bawa semua..
Karena kita adalah satu..

Photos of aaron and his wife taken from (http://8days.mediacorppublishing.com/8days_617/
images/fea_01a.jpg) and (http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/mnt/media/
image/launched/2003-08-04/eaaaron-221145.jpg). The poem above is entitled "Aku ingin bersamanya selamanya" and was written by Cinta in the movie Ada Apa Dengan Cinta.

Most of the posts ive typed out end up in drafts, as i don't want certain people reading them. Mostly rantings and complaints and whickerings. (Is there such a word?)

Thank you to those who've expressed their concern at my detiorating(wrong spelling i know) chirpiness and smiles.

I hope to be able to let my writings flow again as soon as possible, when i have rediscovered the glow in me.

I have no idea why, but the security and the confidence that i have built within myself seems to begin showing cracks.

DAMNIT. I DONT WANT TO WRITE A DEPRESSING ENTRY YET AGAIN.

oh well. i can't stop. wahahahhaha. so kindly click that [x] at the top right hand corner of your screen if you're unhappy. you're more then welcomed to come back a week later (by which im hoping my mood will be elevated).

back to moodswings.

So. as i was saying, im feeling downright down in the dumps. Sometimes i just feel like letting go, stop trying to make everyone happy, stop being a good friend to people, stop doing this and that

and just give the world that "look-im-tired-of-having-to-do-this-so-lay-off" attitude, but i know i can't live happily that way either. cuz i live to make others happy. to see others happy, i am happy. i am born to please.

but sometimes, it gets so tiring. i please others at the expense of my own happyness.

I am a gone case of an insecure person. Therefore when someone loves me, i make the effort to love them more then they love me. But in the process, i get too possesive. and the people i love get scared, and they run off. and the one who ends up hurt? me.

i try to hard.

la la la. this entry is full of random thoughts which dun click. i apologise.

How can i be a counsellor when i myself am in need of counselling? ahahhaa. the world works in mysterious manners.

Im full of jealousy. and it makes people angry and irritated. how do i get rid of jealousy?

Ntah. aku pon tak tau. kau tau?

It hurts when the person you love most criticises you.

It hurts more when you know the criticism is true.

But what hurts most, is when you delude yourself into thinking that the person's intention is to hurt you.

I can't seem to accept the fact that is shoved into my face. It hurts alot. Ive been saying

"NO! I'm not like that!!"

when the answer is yes, i AM like that.

or am i?

Thats what i mean. I don't want to know that what he says is me is the real me. It hurts too much. I am not in the right mind right now, too much thoughts revolving in my head.

And You, please don't apologise. thanks for telling me again and again who i am. I will try to work on what you say.

The truth hurts doesnt it?

A whole day at the beach has turned me very (x infinity) dark.


Before.


After (in the dark).

Haha. Gosh i looked burnt. So anyway, it was a day well spent, basking about in the afternoon sun, the cool wind gently caressing my face, immersing my body into the cool ocean water.

Ah bliss.

After solat-ing Maghrib in the tent, we decided to head home. Mom and i suggested going to Lau Pa Sat to have our supper, but dad said he wanted to go home, as he was feeling very tired (although i found that comment weird since he was sleeping in the tent all the way).

So we headed straight home. As the lorry rolled into the driveway (cheh. like bungalow like that. ahahha), i asked,

"Why never go into the Multi-storey carpark straight?"

And to which my dad replied

"I want to wash the lorry."

Kedush. me and my mom groaned. My dad wasnt tired at all, he just wanted to wash his dearest lorry. I tell you, he washes this lorry (which is his company's) like twice a week. If he has his own car, he'll wash it everyday. Isk.

Im gonna sleep now i guess.

For not updating on the 18th December 2004!


Aaaha! Ive always wanted to use that pic, but couldn't find the right situation. Yeah, i know you're saying

"Who cares whether you update?!"

Let me have my own dreamland will ya? haha.

Anyway, im heading to East Coast later with my family as well as my cousin Ahmad. AT LAST! haahhhahaa.

THE "LATE" 17th Dec 04 ENTRY!

La la la. I got the book "This chord and others" by Haresh Kumar at the Esplenade library today. Actually at first, i couldnt find it. I almost cried. haha. cuz i was so hopeful of getting it. But the other half said

"Go ask the librarian find for you..."

And so i did. And the kind librarian helped me locate it in less then 5 minutes. I love librarians!! But i hate the library security guards. Bleah!

THE "LOST" 18th Dec 04 ENTRY!
*burp* Today is such an eat-all-you-see day. I had Nasi Ayam for breakfast, nasi goreng for lunch, an extravalue meal (upsized) from Ronalds for dinner, and MaggiSoup/cheeseprata/rotijohn/nasigorengayam/milo dinosaur for supper. And add lots and lots of nougat in between meals.

La la la! Faddy's gaining weight! At last at last! Thank God!

Went to the ICA building in the morning to get my passport's pic updated. While standing in the queue for around 2 hours, managed to see alot of interesting characters. Like...

- The makcik tudung whose daughter wore hipster, spaghetti straps and seeable G-string.
- The young family which comprised of a Mat father, a Minah mother and a daughter whom i hope chooses to differ from the parents.
- The kiasu characters, who ran all the way from the 1st floor to the counter (on the 3rd floor). As in really ran.

After Magrib prayers, went down to McDonalds at West Coast park to meet up with the Pig and Rhino, for our last dinner get-together.

Kind of like The Last Supper, but with no Jesus (Prophet Isa) in sight of course. And instead of 13 people, we only had 3. And no wine was served, cuz Faddy is a muslim, and McDonalds doesn't serve wine. Ok thats besides the point.

So after wolfing down our food in silence, and then blabbering non-stop about alot of things (mostly sex, actually haha) we decided to walk around the park.

After walking about aimlessly, playing at the playground-ish places, we decided to make this hammock-ish thingy our place. We settled down on the net, and began talking.

How we met, the stuff we did. We recalled all those memories. It was a very heavy moment for me, seeing these two souls which have helped me in my times of emotional and financial needs, knowing that we may not be *that* close in the future.

I could have cried, but i held it in. I was wearing contacts lah. Pain if cry. haha.

After the talking, the three of us took 176 to Rhino's home, since both my parents and Pig's picking us up at Rhino's busstop. We joked, we irritated the hell out of each other, and made a lot of noise in the almost-empty bus.

Then we sat at the busstop, awaiting for the arrival of my parents. As i saw my Daddy's lorry, i said bye, and headed towards the lorry. When i got in, they were still waving, and at that moment,

I teared.

Bismillahirahmanirahim..

Alhamdulillahirabbilamin.
Arrahmanirrahim.
Malikiaumiddin.
Iyyakanakbuduwaiyakanastaim.
Ihdinassirahtalmustakim.
Siratallazina'anamtaalaihim.
Rairilmaudhubialaihim.
Waladhaalin.
Amin.

The Jurong Junior College-ians.

- ME! (arts).
- Indian rhino (science).
- Suba (science).
- Gay (arts).

The Saint Andrew's Junior Collegi-ians.

- The other half (science).
- Piggy (arts).
- Xiuz (arts).
- Bulimic (arts).
- Melizzy (arts).
Damnit!! Why are they all here? I shall move here after 3 mnths God willing. haha!

The Yishun Junior College-ians.

- Pe'ah (science).
- Lembu (science).
- Ikah (arts).
SERIOUS boywatching lost for me. Damn!

Alhamdulillah.

Aint meeting the other half today, as the weathers been quite bad.

On a sidenote, i gave a friendster message to Alfian Saat to congratulate him on the book 'Bisik', and give him my two cents worth. The book basically was a compilation of plays by him, Alin Mosbit and Effendy Ibrahim, local Malay playwriters.

Quoting from him, i sure am 'pleased as a punch' that he wrote back. teeheehee!!

His reply:

Hello you,

I'm pleased as punch that you liked 'Bisik'. It was an experiment for us at Ekamatra, to try putting out a book that was unapologetic about how it uses
bahasa pasar, bahasa kasar, bahasa campur-campur, etc in the face of so much baggage in the Malay language that insists on certain standards of linguistic propriety.

Reading plays is always difficult, pasal a lot of the action you have to imagine. I also sometimes have problems figuring out stage directions, visualising the space the actors are supposed to be in, and of course identifying at which point which character is speaking.

(Kalau you baca Anton Chekov plays lagi teruk--many many characters, and each person got different names--sometimes they are referred to by family name, sometimes own name, etc!)

But yeah, your brain gets used to it. : )

Unfortunately, I can't recommend you offhand any other Malay drama publications that might be worth a look. If you go to the Esplanade library, there are a few anthologies, but I found them to a bit dreary lah, rather conventional, written in that kind of overly-puitis bahasa of the 'cinta menggunung' kinds.

But Huzir Sulaiman's collection (8 Plays) is very very good. Though all in English. Haresh Sharma's collection (This Chord and Others) is also good; I'd like to point out a particlar favourite called 'Rosnah'--which Haresh devised with Alin Mosbit. Excellent--about a Singapore Malay girl called Rosnah who goes to London to further her studies.

Judging from what you liked from 'Bisik', nampaknya you suka cerita kampung2 eh!

Much love,
Alfian. : )

[End]

So those two books will now be my next priority when i get to the library.

I was woken up this morning at 10:05 by my brother's banging on the door.

I absolutely abhor being waken up in such a manner

a) Its rude.

b) Its damn frigging irritating.

c) It usually causes me to wake up in such a shock, that my heart beats really fast and it hurts.

d) Since i have low blood pressure, i cannot go from lying down to sitting up straight in too fast a time. By banging the door and shocking me, causing me to sit up straight, my vision is blinded for around 20 secs, therefore allowing me to open the door only after 20 seconds. 20 seconds which, were full of more banging and screaming from the other side of the door.

That was a terrible wake up call. If i happen to be sleeping in your room (not applicable to any guy reading this, of course), NEVER wake me up in such a manner.

Rather, i'd like you to sit beside me, carress my hair/forehead, and whisper lovingly

"Fad... its already morning. Wake up please. I've made you pancakes and toast. Come.."

At which, you'd tug my hands lightly to pull me up.

On another thought, i wouldnt want girls to wake me up in that manner. Its just wrong. So i shall leave that wakeup call i suggested to anyone who plans to wed me. wahahahhaa.

So anyway, im just too lazy to get to Taman Warisan today. Loads of household chores to complete, too little time to do it (if i go to Taman Warisan, that is). Floors to mop. Clothes to hang. Rooms (more like my room) to clean. Dishes to wash. Plants to water.

So Taman Warisan is cancelled, again. Bleargh.

I *might* meet the other half for a while later on, as i still have not gotten back my Discman, the bear, the *giggle* tidbits and clock.

Hahahaaha. Ive gone bonkers.

Forever me and youu.. and you and me...

*ring riiiing*

Me: Hello?
Mak: Eh, Taman Warisan is cancelled!
Me: Whyyyy. *whines and stamps feet*
Mak: Your auntie say your uncle sick, so noone to take care of shop.
Me: Ya lah ya lah!

And so i went home (i was from my friend's place after returning his stuff) in a very grotesque mood. Furthermore, i'd have to help her out for 2 hours in the afternoon. Im not a big fan of her shop, btw.

So once i reached home, i made a compromise with her. I'd sit in the shop from 1pm to 2.30pm, and she'd let me go to the library to replenish my dwindling supply of books and come home before Maghrib approaches. Timecheck:12.15pm.

So i rushed through my daily housework, leaving my own room in a mess. I bathed again and changed, managing to reach the shop at aroun 1.10pm. And who do i see?

MY UNCLE.

God the frustrations. I was so pissed. I looked at my mom for explanation, but she just shrugged. So i assumed he was ok. But my auntie wasnt there. I wanted to ask about her whereabouts, but my mom said

"Jangan jaga tepi kain orang!"

Translated:
"Don't take care of others' clothes!" which means, "Mind your own business!"

And so Taman Warisan is cancelled, and off i proceeded to the library. Managed to grab a couple of nice Malay books as well as a DVD entitled "The mind of a serial killer" (or something like that).

I am having constipation. I have not pooped in the past 3 days. Why oh why. And when i shampooed my hair this morning, a ridiculous amount of hair fell off. The same thing happened when i was combing my hair as well as tying it.

Two conclusions may be derived from this:
i)I am merely balding.
ii) I am having a terminal illness.

Out of these two, i seriously don't know which is better.

I am going to give it another try in the ladies.

A smile will be pasted upon my face permanently today, come rain or shine.

NOTHING will spoil the good mood i'm in (at least thats what i like to think).

"Yeah. And then she asked whether i'm buying you anything. I said i bought a bear. Then she proceeded to buy you almond bread, nougat and some other tidbits. Then after that she chose a clock and bought for you."

Hahahhahahahaha. Aku Suka!!

The whole family knows me already, especially the maid, who've seen me a few times. Happy nyerrr!

Pardon my gushing. My entries are usually deep and interesting (yeah right~ ahaa), but for once, i can't stop gushing. So happy!!

I also found out that our door numbers match.

#04-559.
#05-449.

Haahhahhhaahhahahahahahaha.

Lets see, i just bought my brother's school book. The shopperson undercharged me $40 worth of books. I contemplated ignoring his mistake and spending the $40 for myself. But no, my stupid guilty conscience said

"Fadhilah. What if he kena fired? What if his whole life went down the drain because of you? What about the sins you will get?"

Damn it.

So i walked back to him and returned him the money. Could feel his gratefullness towards me. Teehee. I have to say i'm proud i've made a right decision.

Anyway, I'll be off to Taman Warisan with my family later on. Kesenian dan Kebudayaan daay!

Damnations.

Couldnt join Rhino and Pig at the chalet at Downtown today. Oops i meant class chalet, but since i won't be going there for the class, i shall not refer to it as the class chalet.

*Gasp* "Faddy, don't you love your class? Its your sec 4 class ey! Your graduating class!"

Haha. No, i won't miss my class. And im not proud of it. Truthfully, i don't even know some of their names even after spending 2 years with them.

[Scenario 1]
Teacher: Today is Lai Mei's Bday!!
Me : Lai mei? Who is that? Is it that the one? *points*
Rhino : Waloeh!! You hopeless leh! That one Zhu Mei!
Me : Oh. okok i shall try to remember.

[Scenario 2]
Teacher: Fadhilah! Hand out these papers!
Me : *whispers* Eh rhino. Which one is Zhu Mei?
Rhino : Shuddup lah!
Me : [obscenities] Eh Charmaine. help me leh.
Charm : THATS NOT HOW YOU PRONOUNCE MY NAME!
Me : Sorry lah. Then how?
Charm : Forget it. How can i help you?
Me : Er. Who is Zhu Mei?
Charm : *Flabbergasted* Horrible lah you! *Proceeds to take the stack of worksheets and hand them out herself*

[Scenario 3]
You ask me to name a few people from my class right now, 40% chance is that i have forgotten their name.

I am a horrible classmate. But i am a good friend.

Oh man what a big digression from the class chalet topic. Ok back to the topic. A photo to rest your eyes first:



Ok back.

Anyway, where was i?

Oh ya. I didnt join Rhino and Pig at the outing. Sighness.

I guess the biggest reason is due to the fact that i am broke. I know if i go out with them, they (being the nice people they are) would give me a loan and therefore my loans and debts towards them will pile up.

Being sensible, i declined the invitation, and decided to help out my mom's meeting with an insurance agent.

The insurance agent was 30 year old, and he seemed rather friendly and had a well grasp on his insurance schemes.

I presume he has a car, as he didnt know which MRT to alight to get to his work place. I also assume he is rather well off, as he was wearing a TagHeur watch, and had on a rather expensive looking shirt and tie.

I am thinking of becoming an insurance agent. I mean, all you do is sit there and talk to a victim, and the victim readily hands out $100 monthly for 12 years (under the AVIVA ELA 12 scheme).

Then you tempt the victim further by stating that after the 12 years, the victim is liable to take out $32 198, much more then the amount of premiums paid.

Yeah, it is a large sum. But i'm sure theres a catch somewhere. La di da.

Just like the malay saying:
Ada udang disebalik Mee Goreng.

Translated:
There's a prawn somewhere in the Mee Goreng.

I have a date with him this Monday at his office.

After the meeting with the insurance agent, my mom, my younger brother (farhan) and i then proceeded to the library.

Its been so long since ive seen my mom laugh at my jokes and what i say. I really have to treasure these moments. Am accompanying her to Taman Warisan tomorrow. Er. more like she's accompanying me. haha.

The other half is back. Oh how i miss you!

Not the reception i'd want to have.

La di da.

Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

I'm in a great mood today, despite the fact that i have tons of housework to complete.

Why?

The other half is returning tomorrow!! I am complete!!

Uhm. Boots anyone?

- Harley Davidson
- Size 7
- $180 nego. (used to be Rm$695)
- First hand BUT old stock.

Guess who's baaaack.

Teehee. Im in a very very tired mood right now, but im still surviving due to yesterday's great show.

Where shall i start? From the wedding i guess, since that's today's happenings.

Like i said in the previous entry, i usually end up doing

a) Playing/entertaining the small kids.
b) Following my cousin Anz wherever she goes.
c) Making an excuse to go home early.
d) Reading a book.
e) Making myself look busy by walking around aimlessly.

And all 5 choices (plus 1), i did.

The moment i entered the void deck, i looked around for my mother. As i approached her, i made a real sad pathetic face and said

"Mak, can i please go home with Cik Sal and Cik Ai? I dont want to stay here lah. No friends." (Something to that effect)

Her face screwed up, making a rather grotesque horrifying and nightmare-feeding look and growled

"YOU SIT HERE! YOU HELP OUT! YOU.. YOU.."

Luckily at that given point of time, a throng of makcik-makciks entered the void deck and my mom and i got separated. My cousin Anz, upon hearing us, advised me

"Fad.. If you always choose to not mix around at these weddings, who's gonna attend your wedding next time?"

*Ouch*.

After she said that, i shrugged and proceeded to follow her around. I began to notice her annoyance and her unwillingness to allow me to tag her, so i (rather sadly), left her to mix around while i walked around aimlessly.

Walking around aimlessly was a rather boring and embarassing experience, so i proceeded to station myself with some kids. After playing with them for around 10 minutes, Kak Mas approached me

"Eh how come you're here? I thought your mom say you're not coming? Follow me!"

At which i was pulled and a flower pin was well, pinned unto me.

So therefore, i was entrusted with the job of being a kendarat.

Being a kendarat was a tough job. I alternated between handing out small gifts, wiping tables and cleaning dishes, from 1pm straight til 5.30pm without breaks. I can say i rather enjoyed it, as it gave me something to do.

But by 5.30pm, the crowd has thinned out, so all the relatives who were my age were now at a table, mingling and talking. I, as usual, felt rather left out, so i just cleaned up whatever dishes that remained.

But by 5:45pm, i couldnt take feeling the odd one out, so i went up to my Anz's house, got into a room and read a book.

Yayness! haahhahhaahha. ok im so sleepy and tired.

Ok ok wait. Photo interval to rest your eyes.



Ok oops. i meant torture your eyes further with my self love. Teeheeeheee.

MALAM NUSANTARAAAA.

I wore this tudung thingy, but i forgot to put pins, so it was rather funny. hahhahaha. whatever.

So when my cousin Wani, Cik Ya, Cik Ros (Cik Ya's fren) and I walked towards Esplenade, we passed by Memo, where like a million Punks and Rudies were hanging out.

Cik Ya and Cik Ros were tsk-tsking while Wani was pulling me, nudging me to walk faster. Esplenade greeted us with throngs and throngs of Melayus in traditional costumes.

Nice man!I felt so Melayu.

Anyway, as we entered the theatre, i was kinda disappointed as it was rather small, not what i had imagined Esplenade to be. So we went down the rows, searching for seats E8, E9, E13 and E14.

Horrors of horrors! What we presumed to be the 5th row turned out to be the 1st row. Badigol tol. Im still suffering from neck ache. But being in the front row has its pros lah.

Like...



Him smiling at me and being less then 2m away. Oh my gawd. His voice rocks. i seriously would marry him even though he's like old.

Being in front too meant having a better view of cute dancers as well as the delicious Gambus player. teeheeheee.

I guess the show stealer was



(The one on the right) As much as she looks kuku here, i swear she's one hell of an entertainer! I enjoyed myself everytime she steps onto the stage. La di da. I dun mind going to any of her solo concerts seh.

The one on the left was oook lah. But im not really a big fan of hers.

So anyway,after the show, the four of us headed to BAkers Inn and got ice cream.

POWER LAH. very very power. Im going there soon. Go there people go there! Nice lah the wafer ice cream and the donowat icecream with bread.

Its beside the river, and the price is rather reasonable, and they have a waiter named Andi who is damn hot. hahahahaha.

As you can see, im typing the last few sentences very slapshodly. I am very very tired. Very.

And i met Irfan yesterday at the show. I think he thinks im weird. ladida. hahaha. And i also met Zhafran, as well as my chem teacher, Ms Nor.

Sing with me! Its a small world after alll.. its a small world after allll..

Anyway, i am in need of money ok? I'm selling off these harley davidson boots, first hand but old stock, at $180 negotiable. The original price is Rm$695. Both pairs at size 7, with boxes. Will meet at any MRT station.

(The boots in the pics have not been polished, but i'm polishing and cleaning them tomorrow after i get my rest).


The boxes.


Vrooom Vroooom.


I believe i can flyyyyy.


Harley davidson woooo.

Reply to Tags:

Malihhaa: Ok dah bebeh!! hahaha.

Kinky : I can! I can! yayyyy!! hahahha.

Ari : Haha. ingat nak pakai balek my PGL nye template. Tapi tak jadi ah. hahaha.

Acik : Erk? Nak ajak? Lain kali when i hidang Nasi Briyani insyallah i ajak ok?

Ari (Lagi): Hahaha. Tunggu hidangan nasi briyani ok?

Waga : Ok set!Thanks for the compliments anyway. *Bloop* haha. And yeah, weddings are yikes. but i sure wanna get married. hahha.

da big BABY : Shuddup lah rhino.

Irfan : Welcome. :)

Xiuz : I KNOW you love that smiley lah dey! anyway, have a safe flight!! muaacks!

D3 : Good luck for ur exams beb!! Ku doakan yang terbaik buat dirimu. Amiin. :)

At LAST i can sleeeep!!

Malam Nusantara Pics taken at http://esplanade.com

Ladidadida.



I have a date with him later on. So happy together~

Anyway, is it painful looking at this starkingly white (Like colgate teeth) font? aha. Oh well, this template will only be here for 2 days.

Anyway, you can get similar gruesome BUT artistic pictures like on the left at this website. Cool huh?

I'll be away for 2 days, as i am sleeping over at my Grannie's tonight, and there is no internet connection, and i have Kak Siti's wedding on Sunday. Don't expect photos from the wedding, as i'm rather distanced from the relatives on my mom's side.

At weddings on mom's side, you can spot me

a) Playing/entertaining the small kids.
b) Following my cousin Anz wherever she goes.
c) Making an excuse to go home early.
d) Reading a book.
e) Making myself look busy by walking around aimlessly.

Yeah, im that pathetic.

On a better note though,

MALAM NUSANTARA TONIGHT!

wahahahha. Anyway, the warmest of Birthday Wishes to Nurul Nalisa and Irfan Kasban, both leaving the sweet sixteen and maturing into seventeen year olds. Another year ahead may mean more freedom, but it also means more responsibilities, more hopes and more dreams for tomorrows.

I realise that i used to be a country-ist.

I apologise.

I, Nur Fadhilah, aint no country-ist now.

I sincerely apologise.

Forgive me please?

I'm now taking a break from doing accounting work, my mom's no less. Chilling to ska songs whilst drinking Teh Susu.

Then i remembered.

It was 6 years ago, when i was ten years old. At that time, my grandmom and grandad were still living in my house lah.

So there i was, in the kitchen, kpoing around while my Grandma and mom were cooking. I can still remember myself perched on the stool at the corner, soaking in the smells and asking questions:

"Whats that?"
"What does it do?"
"Can i help?"

Of course, in much broken Malay.

Then i got thirsty, so i got up. I moved to the sink, grabbed hold of a grey plastic cup, and poured myself Teh Susu from the tumbler.

As i was happily sipping my drink,



(Just like this guy, just that i'm a girl, i was bigger, and the cup is grey)

i suddenly noticed something poking at my nose. Of course, i couldnt see anything (it was Teh Susu remember). Then after i have drunk like 60% of the cup,



THIS stared me staight in the eye.

As a Primary 4 girl who is very terrified of creepy crawlies, i shouted at the top of my lungs, flung the cup into the air, the Teh Susu splashing into foodstuffs, and ran bawling to my mom.

Hahaha. Classic.

So now i have this phobia of cockroaches and cups from sinks. Before i drink, i check the cup twice.

If i buy drinks from foodstalls (those which doesnt look THAT hygienic), i poke my straw around to check if any beings will crawl out.

haha. Oh well. At least i didnt swallow that damn thing.

Back to Microsoft Excel!

Pictures taken from some webby. Searched at yahoo.com

The moment i woke up, i sprinted towards the study room, (still clad in sleeping attire, mad hairdo and air liur basi).

I on the comp, and got online, and checked my mail.

Prayed hard when the page was loading, like a mantra.

It went like this:

"Bismillah. Ya allah tolonglah ader mail. Bismillah. Ya allah tolonglah ader mail. Bismillah. Ya allah tolonglah ader mail" (and so on)

Translated:

""Bismillah. Oh allah let there be a mail. Bismillah. Oh allah let there be a mail. Bismillah. Oh allah let there be a mail" (and so on)

My heart was beating fast, pupils dilating, head 2 cm close to the screen, mouse tightly gripped.

And for all you know,

Nope, no mails.

And i sent like 6 mails yesterday.

Haha.



Sssh if you know what i'm talking about. For all those who dun, go figure. haha.

PS Thats school uniform by the way, so dun ask about the tudung thing.

I am so tired and lazy to write out zoo day, so i copied and pasted the following from the shared blog between rhino, pig and alien(me).

(written by Pig aka Claire, btw) STARTS >>>

Well, zoo day was super duper fun! the best part of cos was the polar bears! i am gonna propose to iguano. or watever his name was. (its the male polar bear)

Wells, and the 2nd best part was the yummylicious ben and jerry's ice cream! to hell with the cough, the ice cream was worth the sacrifices and pains though i'm coughing like mad now.. *coughs* --> see, to emphasize on my point.

Okay, next was the fact that ASHRITHAA RAJAH, yes, the rhino, made a complete fool of herself, not once, but TWICE, today. Haha, well, what can we expect from the loser right? Haha..

Ok, let me fill u in on how she made a clown of herself without even having to take the effort of looking for a round red circle to put on her snout like nose.

The first event would be the animal show, u know, where the zoo keeper tries her best to keep the crowd involved and entertained by exploiting animals mostly seals, so as to increase the revenue for the zoo at the animals' expense?

Yes, that animal show.

So the zoo keeper was looking for a volunteer to assist her in amusing the crowd, once again, at the seal's expense, as it had to kiss the cheek of the volunteers.

So there she was, shouting out enthusiastically for volunteers to raise their hands, and ashrithaa, being the ever attention seeking her immediately stood up and refused to put her hoof of a hand down.

So when the zoo keeper pointed towards her direction and shouted, "Over there! The lady in pink!", Ashrithaa was beaming and in all smiles looking especially smug and bouncing off the steps to proceed to the stage.

But alas, before she could reach, she realised that the woman in pink was not her, rather, it was another person. Boo hoo, my condolences.

Alien and me burst into laughter IMMEDIATELY and ashrithaa was so humiliated and ashamed ( i swear, tt moment almost got rid of tt thick hide of hers for a while), that she set her butt down and refused to move. Haha, if u ask me, the seal got lucky, saved him the grossness of kissing ashrithaa.

The second incident took place in Ben and Jerry's. Well, the salesgirl was asking for orders and being the ever oh so shameless ashrithaa, the immediate response was no, we ordered already.

Well, too bad! That question was not addressed to her! More like to the people behind us! Yet once again humiliated, ashrithaa had no choice but to shut that trap of hers ( to our delight of cos :), world peace! ).

Gee, how much more shameless can anyone get?!

Apart from that, everything about the zoo was fantabulously great and we all found mates.

Me and the polar bear, rhino and tt lucky seal, and the alien and her "hunk" chris. Whoopie doo. All's well ends well.

Hope u peeps enjoyed this crapped up entry. Now now, please don't make fun of ashrithaa, didn't your parents teach you not to be mean to the less fortunate?

With that in mind, tata kids! :)

<<< END.

Was that entertaining or what? She got an A1 for english in Prelims btw, one of the only two who managed to get it.

To the other half, Chris is just a zookeeper who had a tiny ponytail at the back of his head (jinn style). I am not with him. Seriously.

Teeheeheee.

Yes, im in a much better mood today.

All thanks to the following:
- A late night call (12:45am) from the other half from the airport just minutes before the plane took off.
- Silent make-up session with my mom.
- A terrific zoo day.

Will update more later on at night. Right now i'm shivering out of nervousness (as well as bowel movements) because i have to call someone important.

Teeheeeheee.

Sigh.

I am immersed in so much emotions that im drowning in it.

I don't understand my mum. Right from the start, i wanted to work so that i won't burden her with financial matters during the hols. But she said "No. You sit at home and do housework. I give you 20 a week for allowance."

So i followed her orders. Now she refuse to give me allowance. So i'm having a cold war in the household.

This all wouldnt have happened if she would just trust me. I won't ask her for money. She won't have to supply my allowance. argh.

Shut up if you feel like tagging me and scolding me by saying "Who do you think you are? Do housework also want money. You should help out at home sincerely." (or words to that effect).

Just don't say it. I already know. But i need money to live my life.

And there's this tagger at Acik's blog who said i was seeking cheap publicity by linking Acik. This all seems dejavu-ish to me. History is repeating itself. Old blogders will know what im talking about.

What do you mean by is tudung a concept for me?

The other half left me with the sweetest smile and wave.

Sometimes dealing with people who judge me by a few words i say make me so angry.

I say "a" you take it as "b".

To you i say, whatever. I'm too tired.

I am thinking of locking this blog again.

A quick reply to the tags before i go bathe (hehe. yes, i noe its already 2:03pm):

Nas:
Huarghahahha. Next time when ure with me on the bed, try to restrict your nafsu ah. Im not Farez u noe. hahahha.

Yass:
"Y in some pic u're in tudung and some not? Is it a trend? Concept? Or what? Just curious."

First of all, i couldnt help smiling when i read that. haha. Ok so here's the reason, im a tudung wearer 95% of the time. Not due to any concept laws, or any trends, but because i choose to do so.

At times im not ready to commit myself full time to the tudung, but i'm well on my way there. Usually i dun wear the tudung when im going for an activity which needs alot of movement, like swimming etc.

Insyallah, one day i'll be able to wear the tudung full time, irregardless of where/what im going to do.

Btw, isnt it good if wearing tudung becomes a trend? Cuz den all the minah populations will start wearing tudung to become "in". But then again, whats the point of wearing tudung if ure niat is to attract guys. hmm..

D3:
Waalaikumsalam.. thanks for dropping by!

Kinky:
I miss you kinky. Sigh...

Dayah:
Better start thinking faster, cuz more of PGL is coming up in entries in the near future! haha. I'm still caught up in my own self-made PGL hype.

Ok ok this is the last PGL madness for today, i promise! Apologies to all those who had to tahan my PGL hoohaa for today, namely:

Nas: Who had to spend time with me and listen to me ramble on and on about Seni.

The other half: Who had to go through hours of my "Dinda Kanda" talk, and had to listen to me try (hopelessly) conversing in Bahasa Baku cum Bahasa Istana.

My family members: Who had to sacrifice around 9 hours of their TV time so i can watch PGL 3 times. hahahah.


Pengorbanan demi cinta adalah indah,
Dan pengororbanan demi negara sungguh mulia,
Tapi apakah artinya, pengorbanan dengan tangan berlumur darah manusia tidak berdosa?


As i had said in the earlier entry, i met Nas early in the morning to get the Guitar bag from Farez. All the way to his doorstep, it was like i was given a tour.

"Ah thats his window. That one his parents one. Lights still off, so they're asleep. Thats where he jumped down from. blah blah blah."

After getting the bag, me and nas headed to Boon Lay int, her to head to work while me, going off to meet the other half to retrieve the guitar. But halfway, Nas said (amidst eruptions of sticky fluid from her nose),

"Eh i dun wanna go work lah. I rest at your house k Faddy? I'm like so sick. I accompany you meet your other half then i go your house rest k?"

So she got into 178 with me, and together we trudged and waited for the other half to come down.

10 minutes passed by, and still no sign of the other half. Timecheck: 710am.

The other half finally came down, bringing along the Yamaha acoustic, a Fifa 2005 pc game (pirated no doubt) as well as a slice of bread for me. hehe. i was hungry lah.

Anyway, the other half came down clad in sleeping attire; apparently just "fresh" out of bed.

So after stuffing the oversized guitar into the mini bag (think Barney the dinosaur trying to fit in into Paris Hilton's pants), me and nas went back to my crib.

The moment we reached, Nas collapsed and totally zonked out on my bed, leaving me to the comfort of my PC as well as PGL. Three-quarter way into the movie, she woke up, and accompanied me to have lunch (Rice, Asam Pedas and Kicap).

After getting our fill, we proceeded to blog hop, and do grrly stuff such as grrl talk bla bla the usual.

Hanging out with Nas will never be a boring session, due to her endless blabberings etc. i look forward to our next retreat nassy. It was nice sharing the same bed as you. heehee.

Right now, i too have caught the flu. Drops of sticky fluid are now rolling down the insides of my nose, some managing to escape and hold on to the sides of my mouth and *beeep mature 18 content*.


tadaa! A nice pic of me for you. Say thank you. (Pic taken courtesy of the Sony DSC-U50 the other half got me. hehehe. It will be away for two weeks due to a holiday trip to Australia with the other half.)

Aaaaaaaaaaachhoooooo!!

Holidays seem to crawl on and on, what with all the friends working. Typical invites as follows:

Fad: Hello. Oi want to go 5some anot? I miss you guys lah!
Nas: Uh. Me and Farez free on Sundays only. We working lah. How?
Fad: I no problem. Can make it.
Nas: Then Kim can?
Fad: K wait i call him.

*Riiing**Rinnng*

Kim: Harllooooo.
Fad: Oi you free on Sunday?
Kim: Harlooooo. Harlooooo. (proceeds to irritate the shit out of me for 10 mins)
Fad: *Groans*
Kim: Klah klah. Im not free lah. I work at Deli. I'm only free on Wednesdays.

So there you go. Somehow all their schedules seem to clash. Since my mom is against my plans of working, my days were spent sitting in front of the comp, itchy fingers changing blog templates ever so often. (who managed to see my 1 day template of Puteri Gunung Ledang?)

Anyway, i've decided, that i shall make full use of the holidays!

Aim 1:
This holiday will be used to unleash the seni-ish and sastera-ish characteristics in me once more! Its been a long while since ive made proper use of the Malay language. Sigh.

How i crave for the Primary School days, where Pantuns/Sajaks/Syairs just seem to flow out of my fingers.

Things done so far:
Watching Puteri Gunung Ledang. huaaarghahha. ok you may ask, "But Faddy, how does that help to unleash that seniish and sasteraish characters in you?" The answer is simple. Go watch the movie.

Watch out for the kehalusan of the language, the kata-kata beralas. Notice the amount of peribahasas scattered around. Ive also went to the library and borrowed books by Isa Kamari, A Samad Said etc.

Aim 2:
The other half has been telling me, that i am a person who dreams high, but doesnt do much to achieve my dreams. *ouch* But i guess the words he says have truth in them.

How am i supposed to pass my ALevels with flying colors and get to NUS if my maths right now is at a retarded B4? How am i supposed to compete with the rest who get A1s? So i have two years to brush up my Maths.

Thus, i, Nur Fadhilah, will start to revise my Emaths again, and get the other half to coach my Amaths, since he got A2 in it.

Things done so far:
Uhm. Found my Emaths book? heehe.

Aim 3:
Learn to play the guitar properly.

Things done so far:
Woke up this morning at 5am, got my butt to Farez's house with Nas to get the guitar bag, hobble over to the other half's house for the guitar and now i have a Yamaha Acoustic in my room. weeeee. Can't wait to tinker with it.

So i've laid out 3 aims. Would have laid out more, but i'm gonna listen to the other half's advise.

I've watched Puteri Gunung Ledang twice, the first time covering the subtitles and the second with it. Enjoyed it both times. Am planning to watch it again later in the afternoon.

Yes yes i'm so free cuz everyone is out working.

Irfan was asking me last night, "Which scene had the most impact on you?"

Huargh. Talking to him was like having a sastera/filem discussion class on the film. haha.

Here's the two templates i made and used for yesterday, for those who missed it:



Setiap orang punyai impian.Impian itu yang bisa meneruskan kehidupan. Impian Dinda adalah, untuk mencapai cinta sejati. Impian Kanda?



Adinda bersumpah, jikalau Kekanda tidak kembali, Dinda akan menyusuli Kekanda. Memijak pada tanah yang sama, bernafas pada udara yang sama.

And yes! Since you're my faithful blogder (and as part at promoting Puteri Gunung Ledang) feel free to use these pics for whatever purpose. haha. By the way, the pictures are extracted from the Puteri Gunung Ledang webby.

The scene which made the most impact on me: Tuah, tetap tuah.

From Fan:
To Kak Fad, u been givin me advice, advice, advice that i forget wat advice u did gif me.. But when i did a mistake suddenly that advice pop up. Hahax! I donno how.. But it true.. But wadever it is still remember the promise that i said that i won't cut my hand.. Guess wat, i almost did it again, but then stop.. Coz' i once promise u nt to.. And a cut or 70 cuts nvr solve ur probs.. Yeah.. Thanks for everything..

From Ril:
thankz to a fren who actually convince me...
thankz faddy..khekhekhekhe..

Its moments like these which spur me to give a listening ear to anyone who needs it. You're welcomed guys. *smiles*

On the path to counsellorhood kerrrrr..

Puteri Gunung Ledang madness people. Maddneessss.

Im head over heels in love with this movie. Gonna watch it again although ive already watched all 3hrs of it 2 hours ago. hurhur. Its THAT good.

Yeah this template is ugly. Changing back to the Gambus soon.

On a sidenote, today went really well.

I am in love with the other half.

and more shockingly,

Rhino rebonded her hair!!

I hate it when my brother goes:

"I told you."

It gives me a sense of Urrghness.

I think this time he will be able to say it. Proud and happy that i didnt get my way.

And so will others who doubt me.

Please God. Dun let my happiness be shortlived.

False hopes, true emotions.

Kesyahduan Bayu has been updated!

Not like you all care.But. Oh well.

My mom's been saying over and over again that Taufik Batisah's mom visited her shop yesterday and bought quite a lot of stuff.

I said "Hellooo. They said he live at Bukit Batok. Why on earth would his mom visit your shop in the middle of nowhere?"

She remained adamant, and whilst looking at the oh-that-commercial-again commercial on Suria where Taufik and his mom were interviewed, she said:

"Correct! Its her! I recognise that brooch she's wearing, the way she talked and that serkop she's wearing!"

I am doubting her, but deep inside im wishing Taufik's mom will drop by again.

This time bringing him along.

Heeeeeeeeeeehehhehe. Best nye!!

Next Week's schedule:

Monday: Meet the other half and go to the library to replenish dwindling supply.

Tuesday: Meet Farez to get guitar bag, then the other half to get the guitar.

Wednesday: No outings, but the other half embarks on an 8 days holiday to Australia.

Thurday: We're going to the zoo zoo zoo, how about you you you? Yay. Zoo day with Rhino and Pig.

Friday: Stay at home and immerse myself in books.

Saturday: MALAM NUSANTARA WOOO.

Sunday: Kak Siti's wedding.

I am fully booked next week. Anyone who wants to go out with me next next week, please give me a holler as soon as possible to avoid disappointment.

Huaaagrhahahaha.No face sia Fadhilah.

Grins widely from ear to ear.

Yes, im the luckiest grrl in the world. Not because i got a digi from the other half but because he loves me. *smiles to herself* Thanks for the taggies guys. Got the shock of my life at the sudden outburst of life in the once-dead tagboard of mine. haha.

So anyway, whilst out raya-ing today, i realised what words can do. Just a simple knudge and "Hey.. talk lah. why you so quiet? Be like kak fad. talk alot.." managed to hurt 3 hearts.

Not mine. But the person who said it, the teenager who got the words and the mother of the teenager.

At that comment, the mother said "Let her be her! You can't expect her to be someone else. She's quiet, she's like me. You can't force her to be like fadhilah!"

The commenter apparently got a shock, her well intentions being placed in a wrong direction. A look of guilt passed over her now solemn face, her mouth muttering something illegible, attempts of explaining herself.

The mother continues talking, her expressions more animated, her eyes more flushed. Her distress can be seen.

I look quietly at the two adults seated next to me, and i know, things that night will never be the same.

The teenager sat there, eyes focused on her handphone but i could see, from her flushed cheeks, from the frown carved on her forehead, from the tears welled up in her eyes, that she's disturbed.

Silence prevailed.

5 mins later, the mother and child escapes to another room and i'm left to comfort an aunt who has the guilt of the world resting upon her shoulder.

Misunderstandings occur.

xx NEWS FLASH XX

THE OTHER HALF BOUGHT ME A SONY DSC-U50 DIGICAM!!



WOAAAHHH!! WOAAHHH!! WOAAHHH!!

He sacrificed the prospects of another new hp, and instead invested in this.

I was feeling so guilty at first, but he said:

"K lets put it this way. Its MY digi, but you keep it for me. However when i need it, i get the first priority. That better?"

Uhm. Still guilty, but yeah, since he insists, Rezeki jangan ditolak. hahaha.

Once again, the entrance of that certain special being has become a great omen for me.

Someone to help me in my studies. To motivate me. To cheer me up. Who doesnt mind my insecurity. Who keeps me company. Who makes me want to become successfull when i grow up. Who pampers me like im the queen. Who loves me like theres nothing else in the world.

I am so indebted. Thanks God for lending him to me. Alhamdulillah.

Yes, Rajah, i realise my blog is getting boring.

I can blame it on the lack of creative juices,
or the lack of exciting events
or blogger refusing to upload my all-typed-out exciting entries

but no

I'm just plain preoccupied with some other things.
Like the Malay Language.

wahahhahah. I see all of you groaning and moaning. So i wont be typing the Malay stuff here, but instead, at the other blog. One thing though, to all Malay speaking people, read this book Kiswah by Isa Kamari.

So anyway, met up with the other half yesterday. Decided to try out the rnb tudung look and see his reactions. You know, the one using long scarf and just tie it like a bandana and take both loose ends, wind it up, and put it to one side of the shoulder.

k u dun geddit. nvm.

The point is, as i was walking towards my busstop, i heard honking by the roadside. I turned and *voila* a middle aged malay man inside a lorry was honking and waving at me. ARGH. horrors of horrors. Like what the?

But, i shot a daggering glare at him, and trudged on.

Minahs stare. Other races studied me. er? I look funny isit?

So i took 178 to his estate, to pick him up. hahhaa. he had a leg injury in camp lah, so must give him support and pamper him once in a while.

Whilst walking towards his block, i heard another honking. Since i was in the middle of a road, i thought i was blocking a vehicle or something. So i turned to face it and

AGAIN the same incident occured. Wah im suay man. This time, two men, and they were saying "Cik adekk oii. Nak pegi mane tu??" Sheesh.

I mean, please lah old men. Realise that your house is saying goodbye, and the ground is welcoming you. Instead of disturbing us womenfolk, go to the Masjid and repent for your sins lah.

And get specs. Apparently since you're "interested" in me, you can't see properly either.

So anyway, i loitered around his void deck for a while, and sat down at a stone seat while waiting for him. 5 mins later he hobbled, yes hobbled, towards me.

He said "My maid saw you". haahhaha. Apparently we were wearing matching outfits so maybe the maid put two and two together. Also maybe since she had seen me before too.

So we proceeded to the Jurong East Library, where he had to wait for quite a while before i got my books. Sorrreeii.

Since we were both hungry, and he had 7 bucks in his pocket, and me 10 bucks in my cashcard, we headed to Delifrance. So we stood inline,him in front of me. When it was my turn, i suddenly asked "Is Cashcard accepted?".

Lucky i asked. It wasnt. I saved myself the embarrasment. Lesson learned? "DELI ACCEPTS ONLY CREDIT AND CASH." Ok? Got that? Good.

And inspect the soup of the day before you order. If its Campbell-soupish, or tom-yamish, by all means, buy it. If it looks like someone ate twisties and vomitted it out, then, it is vomit.

Sucks i tell you. The other half gave it to me, since i couldnt buy anything, but when i tasted it, i gave him back. He tasted it, grimaced, and we, or i, rather, ended up playing with it.

Playing with $3.75 worth of food. Not good.

Then we stopped over at Jurong West to take a look at handphones (no prizes for whoever guessed who wanted to do this). We entered this shop, and while negotiating, this pakcik rocker came in.

Long hair, boots, black shirt, tight jeans, the works.

And he sorta 'flirted' with me and kept looking at me.

ARRRGH. I WANT TO ATTRACT YOUNG GUYS NOT CIKOPEKS!

Damnit.

And oh. I got my period. wahhahahaa.

Which is good, and bad.

Bad because i'll have to tahan all the squelching and the uncomfort.

Good because i'll be able to go out before zuhur and come back after maghrib! hahahha. So happy.

All day long spending time at Esplenade/JE library/Bedok library(specialises in Sastera)/trip to Kampung Warisan Kampung Glam,

HERE I COMEEEE!!!

Woah. Today's the earliest ive woken up ever since the holidays started.

Managed to fall asleep after waiting (to no avail) for darl's call. Timecheck : 1am.

Woke up at 6am, and didnt manage to fall asleep again, therefore started again on Artemis Fowl.

Currently awaiting for the arrival of 11am, in which i'd start doing regular (paid) household chores then off to meet the dearest after Zuhur Prayers.

Yeahooooooo!!


An extract from a blog i hopped to (yes i was bored):
Q: What do you call a mat who bungee-jumped?
A: Aksi Mat YoYo.


Wahahahahahahhaha. Thats sure got me laughing at the crack of dawn.

Kesyahduan Bayu is finally up!

Haha. The other side of me. Basically it will be touching issues of the world around me, and will be set into a more serious tone, unlike the mindless bantering of this blog. It's not going to be updated as often i guess, probably 4 days out of the weekly 7. So when you're bored or something, just drop by aight. Poem contributions can be made through my mail.

Oh it will be mostly in the Malay language, but occasionally english entries will be added.

Been flipping through blogs today, out of boredom, and i read Irfan's take on the Puteri Gunung Ledang film. I guess my plans to do nothing all holidays and bask in the prospect of 'doing nothing' (after the much hated O levels) have happened, but backfired on me.

So anyway, pardon that mini digression.

As i was saying, irfan's take on it made the "malayness" (i hate the word "kemelayuan". Somehow this rather, erm, not-that-clean mind of mine keeps thinking "kemaluan". hah)in me burn once more.

:: Disclaimer :: The following may be interpreted as Self-praise. Who cares? I am proud of my primary school malay days. haha. Anyway, its my blog. hahahaha.

Back in primary school, i can safely say that i'm the most 'Malay' person around. I was taken under the wing of Cikgu Dahlia, Cikgu Hanifiah, Cikgu Asnah and Cikgu Haryati and they nurtured me (as well as another girl named Noreen) into loving Bahasa Melayu, and the Seni that comes with it, although im more appreciative of the literature side of the Seni (Puisi, Syair, Sajak etc).

I'm not much of a sports person; never in my entire life, have i won a medal/trophy/certificate for an achievement in sports. Decorated (sparsely) in my drawer lie medals/trophies/certificates for Literature-ish stuff.

In Kindergarden, i managed to get a prize for a Qariah kinda thing (tho all i read were Al-Fatehah and a few other Surahs).

In Primary School (The moment in my life in which i was most proud of myself), i won all Sastera related stuff (top 2. It would always always be a battle between me and Noreen). The Highlites would be grabbing the top West-zone speakers (tag team of Noreen and I), as well as achieving second place in the West-zone Sajak competition.
I became host for my School's opening ceremony and made countless speeches and dramas for the school.

Though, sadly, all of that were gone with the wind in my Secondary School days.

Getting into Drama/choir (dun choke about the Choir bit, thank you) was already all clear from the School Stuff, but sadly, my mom didn't appreciate me getting into this kind of thing.

Getting into a Dikir Barat group organised by a friend too was easy, but again, the MOM became a barrier.

Furthermore, since i was in the Higher Malay Language stream, i didn't have much connections with the Malay population in the school (HML students study at Bukit Panjang Govt High School *waves to Kinky*).

Yeah, some might think, "isnt that better Faddy? then you get to deepen your love for the Malay Language at BPGHS since it has an EMAS program?"

But noo. My teachers in Sec 1 and 2 (shall not disclose their names) did not really grab my attention, and, sadly, my love for the Malay Language flickered.

In sec 3 and 4 however, Cikgu Khalidah came about and she.. she is one hell of a woman. The way she teaches Bahasa Melayu makes you want to learn more and more. She manages to make a Malay lesson like a language, world-knowledge, business, literature, civics and moral lesson all rolled into one. Love her to bits.

Sec 4 is also the year when Mdm Asnida enrolled into Commonwealth Secondary School.

Familiar? Maybe not. How does Asnida Daud sounds?

For the benifit of those who still don't know her, she's a local artist as well as a person who deals alot with kesenian in Singapore. She was involved in the creation of Krayon (the malay substitute for Hi-5) Series One, but backed out in Series 2 due to complications in her pregnancy with her second child. She was and still is involved in many productions in our sunny island.

Oh and not to mention she has an oh-so-cute husband who, coincidentally, is a member of Kaleidoscopicuriousity. hurhurhur.

So anyway (after that brief history), Mdm Asnida is a true person of the Arts. When she talks about arts, her hand gestures become vividly animated, her eyes burn and her cheeks flushed with excitement. When she talks, you know what she's talking about.

SHE is my role model.

Sigh. I hope one day i may be able to deal with kesenian. Its going to be one long journey, what with a disaproving mother. Although it may be something that doesnt bring in much income, its what i am interested in.

All i need now is a good mentor, a nod from my mother, and i'm off to learn more about Kesenian Melayu.

If all else fails though, i still am passionate about Psychology.

Somehow i think this entry does not have a sole suubject. It seems more of scattered thoughts. wahahha. oh well.

MALAM NUSANTARA NEXT WEEK. WOOOOOOOOOOH.