Peace be upon you.

Todays full of rantings, complaints, hurts and let-downs. Do not read unless you've nothing better to do. I warned you.

Reality slapped me in the face today.

I was too blinded.

Too blinded by my own illusions.

My dreams.

My hopes.

What comes after this,

I guess only God knows.

Bleurgh.

Didnt get much studying today.

Went out to Esplenade only to get shoo-ed off.

Migrated to West Coast park Macs.

Went to emo by the playground.

Emo. Emo. Emo.

Thats all i know.

Everyone tends to get pissed at me.

"You Emo too much lah!!"

"I dun get why you want to Emo all alone!!"

Oh well.

I guess once again i have proven to be a weirdo.

No matter how i try to change.

I'll always remain the weird one, the alien.

Sometimes i wonder,

whether the happiness i feel in me is real?

My friends bitch alot.

Sometimes i wonder,

Do they bitch about me too?

I love and trust my friends too much.

Sometimes i wonder,

Do they love and trust me as well?

As you can see, im rather down today.

I dont get the people around me.

No, make that

I dont get myself.

I am so insecure.

Why?

Why cant i just accept life as it is?

Why must i think so deep and so much

until whatever thats waiting for me just go away?

Once bitten, twice shy.

Im so afraid.

I dun think i can get out of the perimeters i have enclosed myself in.

The people i love and care so much,

One by one

They go away.

My bestfriends - Raizah, Jelena, Hana, Ikah.

All gone.

No longer share the same bond i had with them.

Guys.

Hah.

Lust.

All they want is my body.

Not me.

Him?

Neh.

Not the right time.

My couz.

Feel like we're getting further apart.

I think she forgot my birthday.

I know lah bday not important.

But..

Bleurgh.

Why can't i just say "BAH".

And the problem will be gone.

If only.

"BAH"

ok. its still here.

Lameness.

Bleurgh.

Maybe my parents were right.

GASp.

Cant believe i said that.

Haha.

I still can afford to be lame during troubled times.

HeHe.

Anyway, do you know that im called "alien" at school?

I used to be so hurt and devastated.

They labeled me that cuz im a weirdo.

Haha.

With my frizzy hair and emo shite.

But now ive gotten so used to it.

I refer to myself as an alien.

Wahahha.

Lame. Lame.

Gosh. I think im going ballastic.

Ballastic? Is there such a word?

hehe.

Who cares.

Oh any lobangs for a Creative 128mb mp3 player?

90 bucks.

Anyone? Anyone?

I so need emo music in my head right now.

Ok im off to emo in my room.

WeEeE~

BAH.

Pray for me i dont become my old self.

cuz dat SUCKS.

Trust me.

Love,
Pray for me.