Peace be upon you.

My friends say im an embarrassment to gals. Why? Cuz im a sucker for love. When i love, i love like no tomorrow. When a guy apologises for sumthing he did, and makes a promise, i forgive him and forget about the problem. See? I am an embarrassment to girls.

xx Oh ya.. Before the Day is over... xx

So shoot me. Its not my fault that God instilled in me a tender loving heart. Face it, I am made to love. Do i forget any of my close friends, even from kindergartens? No. Do i wanna make up and be friends with my Exs even though they hurt me so bad? Yes. Do i hold any real grudges with anyone? No. Its as simple as that. I dun like having hatred in my heart. I love and care for people even when i know they dun give two cents worth of their thoughts for me. Why harp on it and blame everyone? For me, if anything goes wrong, i blame myself. its better that way. When u blame yourself, you'll then improve urself. Why blame others when nothing comes out from it but endless hatred and pain?

xx I just wanna say that i promise that i will never try to hurt ur feelings anymore xx

I admit, it took me loads of courage to call him about my decision. I have forgiven him, i have. but i have to stick to my decision dont you see? Its the best for us. When i spoke with my friends about this problem, they supported my decision. When i was discussing the details, i felt no pain, just nervousness, so i thought i didnt really love him. But.

xx Cos you mean so much to me since we got to know each other... xx

When i called, and told it to him, i couldnt surpress my feelings any more. I cried like nobody's business. Its been only 10 hours, and i already feel like something is gone in my life. A part of me has went off with him. Will i be able to find someone as perfect as him again? I doubt so. He's the only one with whom i can talk openly with. He's my confidante. My best friend. My crapmate. My emo partner. He's the love of my life. Everything that i want in a guy, he has it. Why do the things happened that make us break up happen? Haish. I really2 miss him. If you are reading this, Is, i miss you.

xx Sorry again gurl xx

He's such a sweetie about the whole thing. Thanks for understanding why i needed this break, Is. It hurts me, it hurts you, it hurts the both of us. But i need you to know that i think its for the best. I need you to know that at the end of the day, the answer is my feelings for you have not changed. 2 months may be long? (or short rather) but it will really tell and show our true feelings. If we're meant to be, we're meant to be. If we're not, lets move on with life, but i need you to know that you will never be replaced.

xx Luv u.. xx

Ok enough all emo nonsense. Sorry readers you have to read that. I need to pen it sumwhere, but hate my handwriting so dun like writing. Bleah.

I am fasting today, due to Mom's pesterting. My fault lah. Had the whole year to repay my puasa but i didnt. I didnt. See now last minute paying back. Groan. I can smell the food she's cooking for my brothers. 9 more hours! come on Maghrib!

Plan to study like hell for Chemistry today. Yah yah. Prelims over. But the fact that i was so scared upon realising that i cant get nuts for my prelims has spurred me to study for my Os.

Ah. See lah? Because of my horrible Prelims i missed my chances to be an understudy at some London university on Psychology. Shit shit. I missed my chance to hang out with the best of the best in Psychology field, to see them in action. Shit shit. I missed my chance to really develop my psychological skills! I missed my frigging chance!! Ahh. bloody shitty prelims just ruined my life. Im not exageratting! I really want to deal with Psychology related stuff, and now prelims just ruined it all for me.

No, check that.

It was me who made the decision to not study hard f0r prelims. So it bloody shitty my fault!! ahhh. In the words of Kyle, Gawddamit!

Haish. So its true what they say : When it rains, it pours. Haish.

Love,
Him.