Most of the posts ive typed out end up in drafts, as i don't want certain people reading them. Mostly rantings and complaints and whickerings. (Is there such a word?)

Thank you to those who've expressed their concern at my detiorating(wrong spelling i know) chirpiness and smiles.

I hope to be able to let my writings flow again as soon as possible, when i have rediscovered the glow in me.

I have no idea why, but the security and the confidence that i have built within myself seems to begin showing cracks.

DAMNIT. I DONT WANT TO WRITE A DEPRESSING ENTRY YET AGAIN.

oh well. i can't stop. wahahahhaha. so kindly click that [x] at the top right hand corner of your screen if you're unhappy. you're more then welcomed to come back a week later (by which im hoping my mood will be elevated).

back to moodswings.

So. as i was saying, im feeling downright down in the dumps. Sometimes i just feel like letting go, stop trying to make everyone happy, stop being a good friend to people, stop doing this and that

and just give the world that "look-im-tired-of-having-to-do-this-so-lay-off" attitude, but i know i can't live happily that way either. cuz i live to make others happy. to see others happy, i am happy. i am born to please.

but sometimes, it gets so tiring. i please others at the expense of my own happyness.

I am a gone case of an insecure person. Therefore when someone loves me, i make the effort to love them more then they love me. But in the process, i get too possesive. and the people i love get scared, and they run off. and the one who ends up hurt? me.

i try to hard.

la la la. this entry is full of random thoughts which dun click. i apologise.

How can i be a counsellor when i myself am in need of counselling? ahahhaa. the world works in mysterious manners.

Im full of jealousy. and it makes people angry and irritated. how do i get rid of jealousy?

Ntah. aku pon tak tau. kau tau?